Editor's note:
Kinda lame one, but after little bit of editing it got to some point of sense...


REAL CYBERPUNKS DON'T EAT QUICHE...


CLOTHING

- Real cyberpunks can wear anything futuristic if they are funky and excentric enaugh.
- Real cyberpunks wear military surplus clothing, non-neoncolored Gortex, bluejeans, boots (combat or motorycle), Factsheet-5 T-Shirts, and kilts (on formal occasions).
- Real cyberpunks don't shop at Banana Republic or the "Mainframe" clothing section at Sears.
- Real cyberpunks have the balls to go to Thrift Shops.
Corollary to the above: Anyone who makes fun of a cyberpunk shopping at a thrift shop usually winds up in ICU.

COMPUTERS

- Real cyberpunks that have the $$$ use 300Mhz's and faster putters.
- Real cyberpunks that don't have the $$$ use whatever the hell they can get ahold of.
- Real cyberpunks think C is cute for a fuck-around language.
- Real cyberpunks think of the Amiga as a cute toy.
- Real cyberpunk SYSOPS run Stonehenge.


CARS
- Real cyberpunks drive whatever they can afford.
- Real cyberpunks never drive an unmodified vehicle.
- Real cyberpunks think Audi, BMW, and Mercedes cars serve best as rocket launcher targets.
- Real cyberpunks who can afford them drive something with a V-8.
Corollary to the above: Real cyberpunks go to every police auction in their area.

TECH
- All real cyberpunks have their ham license.
- Real cyberpunks know the difference between a resistor and a capacitor.
- Real cyberpunks know where to get tech cheap in their area.
Corollary to the above: Real cyberpunks practically live at their local surplus store.
- Real cyberpunks think Radio Shack sucks, but still buy from there because it's convenient.
Corollary to the above: Real cyberpunks put pragmatism before principle.
- Real cyberpunks always carry a Leatherman Tool.
Corollary to the above: Real cyberpunks know what a Leatherman Tool is.
- Real cyberpunks own a dual-band HT.
Corollary to the above: Real cyberpunks know what a dual-band HT is.
Corollary to the corollary: Real cyberpunks have hosed McDonalds at least once.
- Real cyberpunks know how use a TDR.
Corollary to the above: The have also managed to get ahold of one for free.


POLITICS & LAW
- Real cyberpunks are politically aware, but avoid getting involved in that bullshit.
- Real cyberpunks think all politicians should be castrated.
Corollary to the above: Real cyberpunks are libertarians.
- Real cyberpunks have copies of their state's law statues.
- Real cyberpunks know the difference between the Declaration of Independence and The Constitution.
Corollary to the above: Real cyberpunks know what both of those say.
- Real cyberpunks don't get caught.


KNOWLEDGE

- Real cyberpunks read Mondo2000, 2600, Factsheet-5, Full Disclosure, Iron Feather Journal, Cybertek, Radio Electronics, Circuit Cellar Ink, Computer Shopper, American Survival Guide,
and any 'zines about local bands in their area. Corollary to the above: Real cyberpunks understand what they read in these publications.
- Real cyberpunks learn about everything from Computers to Crossbows.
- Real cyberpunks know how to spell (sometimes).
- Real cyberpunks speak at least 2 languages.


WEAPONS

- Real cyberpunks don't have the typical yuppie artfag fear of weapons that most modem users seem to have.
Corollary to the above: Real cyberpunks know the value of useful equipment.
- Real cyberpunks own at least one gun.
- Real cyberpunks carry Gerber, Cold Steel, SOG, AlMar, or Spyderco blades.
Corollary to the above: Real cyberpunks think custom steel is neat, but costs too much.
- Real cyberpunks have memorized The Improvised Munitions Black Book.
- Real cyberpunks know The Anarchist Cookbook is a crock of shit.
- Real cyberpunks buy everything authored by Seymour Lecker and Kurt Saxon.
- Real cyberpunks keep a supply of DMSO handy.
Corollary to the above: Real cyberpunks know what DMSO is.


MUSIC

- Real cyberpunks go to The Mentors' concerts whenever they can.
- Real cyberpunks think C&C Music Factory is just a bunch of out-of-the-closet homosexuals.
- Real cyberpunks don't listen to Paula Abdul.
- Real cyberpunks think Michael Jackson should be napalmed.
Corollary to the above: Real cyberpunks think Michael Jackson is a reincarnate of his monkey Bubbles.
- Real cyberpunks think Top-40 sucks.
- In the end, real cyberpunks listen to whatever the fuck they want.


PHREAKING & HACKING
- Real cyberpunks think codes are for fags, but use them anyway because they put pragmatism before principle.
- Real cyberpunks know what TEMPEST means.
- Real cyberpunks use data-taps.
- Real cyberpunks have Internet access.
- Real cyberpunks know why Broadway Hacker invited everyone to his house.
- Real cyberpunks know what PPS really means.
- Real cyberpunks know Clifford Stoll's ex-wife is a lesbian.
Corollary to the above: Real cyberpunks know that Clifford Stoll is an asshole.
- Real cyberpunks know just how good friends John Maxfield and Broadway Hacker are.
- Real cyberpunks know who John Maxfield is and what he was arrested for.
- Real cyberpunks own a blue box, and still use it.
Corollary to the above: Real cyberpunks know what a blue box is, and know how to use it.
- Real cyberpunks know what a TS-21 is.
Corollary to the above: Real cyberpunks stole their TS-21.
- Real cyberpunks have acquired a Bell System hard-hat.
- Real cyberpunks have a payphone.
Corollary to the above: The payphone belongs to someone else.
- Real cyberpunks on the east coast have attended at least one 2600 meeting.
Corollary to the above: Real cyberpunks who have attended a 2600
meeting don't go to them anymore.
Corollary to the corollary: Real cyberpunks are waiting for another OSUNY meeting.
Further corollary: Real cyberpunks know what OSUNY originally stood for.

HEALTH

- Drugs, drugs and DRUGS

FOOD & DRINK

- Real cyberpunks drink Jolt.
Corollary to the above: Real cyberpunks think Pepsi is for artfags.
- Real cyberpunks are intimately familiar with the selection at 7-Eleven, but avoid it whenever possible.
- Real cyberpunks know how to cook.
- Real cyberpunks drink Guinness Stout.
- Real cyberpunks who are under 21 distill their own.
- Real cyberpunks can go to a Supermarket and not get lost.




Brought to you
by
The Cyberpunk Project