The night was damp. Damp and harmless…

That was the night I will never forget. The Night when I met my fate…

I was sitting on the bed, having just crept out the suffocating nightmare and looking out through the open window. Some music I could not define was beating from the room next-door, its heavy rhythm hammering in my head painfully. I got out of bed. Empty nylon bags were wandering in the drought on the floor, along with rolling empty “Digital Dream” capsules. The dizzy neon light from the hotel on the opposite side of the street was peeping through window, giving my skin a somewhat weird tint while I was looking at the mirror. The emaciated face that looked at me from there needed badly some shaving. I had slept in my clothes – again… Many moments from the previous days were wiped from my memory – again… The empty DD’s in the basin were telling the reason. Maybe it was time to reduce the drugs, or maybe it wasn’t…

I put on my coat, stuck the revolver in my right pocket and, after locking the door, I climbed down the stairs to dive in the bustling life of the city.

Fifteen minutes later I was sitting on an eastern table in the “13:19”, drinking Jolt, looking somewhere in space through the big plastic window in front of me.

“13:19” was a bar, frequented by all sorts of high-tech low-lives. People like me. The neighboring tables were bustling with business between crackers and infotraders. From time to time some of the local bands were making their meetings here too. The clientele always consisted of one and the same stratum, but never of the same people. There were exceptions, of course, and I was one of them.

I was just taking a shot from the black liquid, when she came in… Her eyes were browsing the bar, obviously looking for something. When she saw me, she fixed her sight on me for a second, and then neared my table quickly. She was dressed in tight leather pants, showing her beautiful slender legs, her shirt showing under a worn leather jacket, half-belted in the pants.

“May I have a seat?” she asked.

I nodded my approbation and she slowly sat against me. Her bright green eyes were looking at me innocently. Her short red hair was like a fire river in the halogen lights of the bar.

“Are you Mic?” she cast her question.

“Who asks?” I questioned back.

“H-m, Mic. My name is Nicole. I was told you’re the man I need. I am looking for “Digital Dream”. There ain’t many people who have it, and you’re one of them.”

“They’ve lied to you. I’m no more in the business.”

“Come on, don’t play games with me. “ – She was trying to be calm, but I saw she was getting nervous. – “Charlie sends me. I know you can help me.” – And she took a debit card from one of the pockets in her jacket.

Well, what is there so much to think about it, it said to myself. Ultimately, money is money, and that’s exactly what I need now. I looked at the plastic card – the holographic numbers read ten thousand ECU.

“How much do you need?” – I took another shot from the drink.

“All you can give me for ten thousand bucks” She pushed the card to me.

A great quantity, indeed. I wondered what she would do with so much drug, but I did not ask. The debit card disappeared in the pocket of my coat. I drunk the rest of my drink in a shot and made my way to the door. She followed me.

When we reached my room she looked around and entered without hesitating. She did not look like a girl that has ever tried any narcotics, to say nothing of Digital Dreams. No, she was looking like a man with problems who seeks rescue in drugs.

“Tell me something about yourself” she dropped. “ I wanna know more about you.”

I could not understand her interest in me, but I told her the story of my downfall in the crack-business. I told her how I lost forty percent of my nervous system in one of the ICE’s of the Corporation and how I could not surf the net again since then.

Something in that girl attracted me. I saw the sorrowful understanding in her eyes as I was telling my story.

“Enough about me. Let’s talk about you.” – I interrupted my narration. She got confused and said nothing, just looked around and asked about the stock. I took a sack from under the bed and from there – three bags, eighty capsules each. A second after I gave them to her, she took one capsule with trembling hands and fused it in her mouth. I gazed at her with confusion. She just gave me one in return, looking softly at me. I could withstand neither the sight of the red capsule, nor of her look. I neared her slowly. I took the capsule and, after breaking it in my mouth, I swallowed it. Her body was warm. Her breasts touched mine and a hot wave of excitement overwhelmed me. She smiled and took off her jacket and shirt… then mine…

I was awakened by the rhythm still beating from the next room. We had been making love almost all night. Damn! The combination of “DD” and sex was unrepeatable, simply great! I looked by my side in the bed. She was still sleeping. She was so perfect! The halftones and the bluish light seemed to play with her body. Once again, after many years, I was in love…

The dawn was replacing the night; it would soon be a day. I closed my eyes, bathing in blessedness.

When I opened them again it was already noon. She was not here. I looked around the room – I was alone. Nicole had left. The bags with “DD” were also absent. Nothing else was touched. Everything was in its place. Everything but a part of my heart. I was in love… and in loneliness.

It was late afternoon and I was walking through the city with no purpose. Chilling wind was carrying bushes in the bare streets. Nasty clouds were hiding the sun. Everything was dark and gray. The rumble of distant thunders was echoing high above me. Tired to death, I headed back to my room.

When I opened the door, I saw a slender silhouette standing by the window, gazing outwards. It turned – It was she. She was holding some toy in her hands. Something like a small dog. I came nearer without saying a word and embraced my hand around her waist. She said nothing too, just handed me the puppy and rested her head on my breasts. We remained in this posture for a while, then I whispered:

“I love you.”

She looked at me and kissed me. A tear sparkled and rolled down her cheek.

“I love you too.”

We made love again…

Weeks passed, when we were almost always together. I forgot drugs. I had a reason to live. She just filled the emptiness in me. The missing part of the puzzle of my life. I did not see her taking the small red capsules again. She was always happy and lively. Always but the last few days… Things began somehow to change. Something was not like before, and she was trying to hide this fact every time I mentioned it. She almost stopped talking to me. I started catching her with LSD in her hand frequently. She behaved strangely, and made me feel lonely. Sometimes days would pass before we met again, and when we were together her demeanor was chilly and senseless. Things between us were not going smoothly…

One day she disappeared without saying anything or leaving a message. She simply disappeared. She did not come back for a whole week and I started worrying. This hurt me. It hurt a lot, for I loved her, and she didn’t love me. She tried not to show this, but it was no success. It was all too simple…

It was Wednesday. A dark Wednesday. It had been raining the whole day, when she came back to me, in my room. She was all wet, drugged, her face in tears… She said nothing. She came to me, without closing the door and she hugged me. Her embrace was different… strangely different. She kept on crying. Never had I seen her like that. She was on the edge. We stayed like that for awhile, in a silent embrace, when she looked straight in my eyes for a second, then she let me free and walked to the door. I wanted to stop her, but I could not move. I wanted to ask her to stay, but my mouth wouldn’t open. She just turned from the threshold, looked me farewell and went out through the open door. I left alone in the room… alone in life. It was the first time I felt the loneliness really. I never understood it then. I never understand it now… She simply went out of my life in the way she entered it… Not for long. But long enough to make me find a reason to live and then lose it again. Long enough to kill a soul…

The night was damp. Damp and harmless… The little puppy was staring at me from the bed. It was looking at me while I was pointing the revolver to my head. A little puppy-toy, that would be the only one to hear the shot in the night…